Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Shall We Play A Game of Ketchup?

December 2 - Writing.
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I throw more clothes on my floor-pile-of-clothes.
I make awkward and poorly planned sandwiches before running out the door.
I do very serious things at work that are of a very serious nature and of which I will not share with you due to their seriousness.
Sometimes in between the serious things I send emails to friends and my mother.
I lounge in my living room basking in the companionship of my devilishly intelligent, witty and attractive roommate family.
At the time I also bask in the glory of Glee.
I write lists of things I should do.
I occasionally do homework, research very serious things and write serious papers.
I look for ways to alleviate the stress of the serious things- this often involves shopping for skinny jeans, costume jewelry and Christmassy things.
I nap.
I lay on my bed listening to music with my laptop perched on my stomach for up to an hour and I enjoy all of it.

So in retrospect, to be honest, writing is not my top priority. I like it, it gives me energy and makes me happy, but if I never publish a thing I'll still die quite happy. The very very serious things I mentioned? I wasn't being sarcastic, they are super serious and I like to work at them and get better at them and do a good job, so that's sort of my number one priority. Other things, like sandwich planning and bedroom tidyness tend to take a back seat. And that's okay.

However clearly, writing is enough a priority that I joined the #reverb daily prompts. Writing, especially on my reader-less zombie blog, has thus far been a great release. Part of me likes that someday someone might stumble upon it and read a paragraph or two, and another part of me is just aware that I type really fast and I get bored when scrawling in a journal (even though it's totally more romantic) most of the time. #reverb has been a good opportunity for reflection... thank you, #reverb.

December 3 Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Only one, hey? You're a difficult master.

There are a lot of things I can't say. Partly due to the seriousness, but also just partly due to my own overdeveloped sense of privacy.

However I will say that this was an amazing summer. I had a summer job that was challenging, stimulating, rewarding, exhausting and perfect. I was outside. I was drenched in Vitamin D. I could never pick a moment from an entire year, but let it be known that this was an amazing summer that resurrected parts of myself that have been dormant and swimming in muck for far too long. (EVIL DEVIL BOY!) I forgot everything but the moment because I had no choice, I was so busy, and I felt a peace I've been missing. I reclaimed my capacity for gratitude. I felt passion. (Not for a dude, chill.) I felt passion for work and while I didn't completely save myself from the pains I've inflicted on my flailing heart, I felt hope again and I felt a lot more self-love than I have in far too long.

My summer was sunshine, oxygen, burnt skin, freckles, tired calves, muddy feet, purpose, drive and balance.

It's trite because I can't tell you what happened. I can't tell you partly due to need for privacy but partly because I don't really know. I just know it was amazing and I reclaimed a part of myself, and accepted myself.

Lastly, I am a child of the sun and wind and cold, and I need the land I came from. My most alive moment? Always outside, always running and always loving nature.

December 4 – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

(See above.)

No, really. I'm not going to write an entire mini-post on this because

a) lazy

b) don't wanna

c) it would be horribly redundant

I cultivated a sense of wonder this year by GOING OUTSIDE. By surrounding myself with the people I love instead of masochistically challenging myself to be only amongst strangers, to build character. (Who does that?!) I built myself up and it gave me time to look around and marvel. My needs were met and I could start satiating my wants. It's an amazing feeling. I'm in an entirely different head space than a year ago. I think my COMMUTE is pretty (it's not) and I've had more fun people watching this year than even my first year of university. (I was horny, 18 and there were boys everywhere- this is normal.)

I've learnt that I can't make this last. I've learnt that I can't build something for myself that will last my whole life, but I can thank the world for all I have every day and enjoy it as much as I can, and hope to learn as much as possible.

Nature, loved ones, loving thyself. Pretty sure that's in a pamphlet somewhere, but that recipe took me a while to concoct on my own.

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