Showing posts with label Wellness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wellness. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Shall We Play A Game of Ketchup?

December 2 - Writing.
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I throw more clothes on my floor-pile-of-clothes.
I make awkward and poorly planned sandwiches before running out the door.
I do very serious things at work that are of a very serious nature and of which I will not share with you due to their seriousness.
Sometimes in between the serious things I send emails to friends and my mother.
I lounge in my living room basking in the companionship of my devilishly intelligent, witty and attractive roommate family.
At the time I also bask in the glory of Glee.
I write lists of things I should do.
I occasionally do homework, research very serious things and write serious papers.
I look for ways to alleviate the stress of the serious things- this often involves shopping for skinny jeans, costume jewelry and Christmassy things.
I nap.
I lay on my bed listening to music with my laptop perched on my stomach for up to an hour and I enjoy all of it.

So in retrospect, to be honest, writing is not my top priority. I like it, it gives me energy and makes me happy, but if I never publish a thing I'll still die quite happy. The very very serious things I mentioned? I wasn't being sarcastic, they are super serious and I like to work at them and get better at them and do a good job, so that's sort of my number one priority. Other things, like sandwich planning and bedroom tidyness tend to take a back seat. And that's okay.

However clearly, writing is enough a priority that I joined the #reverb daily prompts. Writing, especially on my reader-less zombie blog, has thus far been a great release. Part of me likes that someday someone might stumble upon it and read a paragraph or two, and another part of me is just aware that I type really fast and I get bored when scrawling in a journal (even though it's totally more romantic) most of the time. #reverb has been a good opportunity for reflection... thank you, #reverb.


December 3 Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).


Only one, hey? You're a difficult master.

There are a lot of things I can't say. Partly due to the seriousness, but also just partly due to my own overdeveloped sense of privacy.

However I will say that this was an amazing summer. I had a summer job that was challenging, stimulating, rewarding, exhausting and perfect. I was outside. I was drenched in Vitamin D. I could never pick a moment from an entire year, but let it be known that this was an amazing summer that resurrected parts of myself that have been dormant and swimming in muck for far too long. (EVIL DEVIL BOY!) I forgot everything but the moment because I had no choice, I was so busy, and I felt a peace I've been missing. I reclaimed my capacity for gratitude. I felt passion. (Not for a dude, chill.) I felt passion for work and while I didn't completely save myself from the pains I've inflicted on my flailing heart, I felt hope again and I felt a lot more self-love than I have in far too long.

My summer was sunshine, oxygen, burnt skin, freckles, tired calves, muddy feet, purpose, drive and balance.

It's trite because I can't tell you what happened. I can't tell you partly due to need for privacy but partly because I don't really know. I just know it was amazing and I reclaimed a part of myself, and accepted myself.

Lastly, I am a child of the sun and wind and cold, and I need the land I came from. My most alive moment? Always outside, always running and always loving nature.



December 4 – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?


(See above.)

No, really. I'm not going to write an entire mini-post on this because

a) lazy

b) don't wanna

c) it would be horribly redundant


I cultivated a sense of wonder this year by GOING OUTSIDE. By surrounding myself with the people I love instead of masochistically challenging myself to be only amongst strangers, to build character. (Who does that?!) I built myself up and it gave me time to look around and marvel. My needs were met and I could start satiating my wants. It's an amazing feeling. I'm in an entirely different head space than a year ago. I think my COMMUTE is pretty (it's not) and I've had more fun people watching this year than even my first year of university. (I was horny, 18 and there were boys everywhere- this is normal.)

I've learnt that I can't make this last. I've learnt that I can't build something for myself that will last my whole life, but I can thank the world for all I have every day and enjoy it as much as I can, and hope to learn as much as possible.

Nature, loved ones, loving thyself. Pretty sure that's in a pamphlet somewhere, but that recipe took me a while to concoct on my own.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

stim-u-li

I'm in my crunch week, I haven't slept more than 7 hours in the last three days, and I have a presentation to finish before work in four hours.

Naturally, I will blog.

I'm going to participate in the #reverb10 31 daily prompts, to get my creative juices flowin'.

Day One: (playing catch up here!)
December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

HOME.

I've actually lived in three cities this year, with four months in each, and you'd think that all that moving would leave me increasingly disconnected from my surroundings and feeling rootless.

Far from it. I've felt more at home wherever I've been this year than I have since my early twenties, since before the dread QLC (quarter life crisis). City #2, where I spent the first third of the year, was the first place I ever truly lived outside of my own hometown. I had to fight tooth and nail to make that place my own and it took a damn-long-time. My last four months there were undoubtedly my best; my best adventures, my friends, my best everything in City #2. What do I learn? That no matter where I am, if I have the right kind of relationships, I will be home.
Additionally, those relationships, those perfect, amazing friendships or what have you that make you feel connected to people and like you belong to one another- those are valuable and hard to find. I am %^*%&ing good at making friends, but my difficulty transitioning into City #2 really showed me just how much I'd built in the Hometown, and how impossible it would be to recreate that in just a few months. (But damn if I didn't try!)

Now I've been in City #3, and I've never ever felt more at home. I felt at home here in the first two weeks. I love the people I live with, my work, my house, my everything... I even love my commute. I can tell when I start to feel affection for buildings and the guy that tries to sell me newspapers from him on the second corner before my office and when I get excited about weather and revel in all of the possibility of a place... that what is really going on is that I am at home internally. I'm at home in myself again.

A lot of this has to do with making grieving progress over evildevilboy. Air smells fresher, my clothes seem to fit better (they don't though) and all the little details of life are bringing me joy again. I feel like I'm adding to my life again, instead of just trying to stay afloat.

Additionally, I've accepted that I want to live close to my family. I had to actually give myself permission to want that, I've felt like it makes me weak. Really, I'm just lucky to have a good one... my family is my gift horse, and I'm going to stop looking it in the mouth.

(Great writing? God no. Am I at least rambling???? Better than silence!)

Paisley out.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I want to spend my life in the good moments. Just the good moments.

(No lectures about the importance of hard times to appreciate the good times now, I'm dreaming. Let me dream.)

I want to spend my life the way I spent this summer.
Correction, the way I spent this summer before someone poured lemon juice and salt and vodka on an old wound of mine that just keeps flaring up. Really, the wound (who is a person) is more of an ulcer that just doesn't seem to go away.

Before "The Ulcer" flared up again (damn them), I had almost everything I needed. Their memory was finally becoming more distant, diluting itself. I was spending my time in the sunshine (best. job. ever.), reconnecting with friends I'd missed and my weekends were always at a wedding.

Which might sound like crap to you, but I spent my weekends celebrating, dancing, eating good food, feeling pretty and most importantly, reminding people that I loved them and that I loved that they loved each other. (Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Mmmm mmmm good.)

I want to spend my life loving what I do have.
I want to spend it hugging people that I love all the time.
I want to spend it with enough emotional energy TO love people and to be open to new people in my life.
I want to find a way not to care when my family asks why I still don't have a boyfriend. (Family, when I have a boyfriend worth introducing to you, I promise you'll meet them.)
I want to be able to having fulfilling companionship in my life; I don't want to give up on that yet.
I don't want to wake up thinking of my demons.
I don't want to have a demon at all.
I want to break the cycle that I'm in.
I want to do meaningful work. (I'm on track! Whoo hoo!)

I want to never feel the urge to write such a trite/emo/serious post again. Ever. (I probably will, but probably won't post it. Hell, I might not post this.)

On the plus side of life, despite the re-emergence of "The Ulcer," (goawaygoawaygoaway), I, um... have some really good tea right now. And amazing friends who've lasted for years and will last for years more. And a warm place to sleep which is more than I can say for many people in this world.

So I should tuck my first-world problems away and figure out a way to vanquish them later.

Peace out.

~ Paisley



Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Couch to 5K?

I didn't run, which is a bad sign.

I DID have coffee with a friend and eat a vegetarian sandwich... do I get a point for the sandwich?

:) Paisley


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Appropriating The Goals Of Others...

So the last hour or so of my life went something like this...

6:43 pm - Return home from amazing party (wedding) in beautiful mountainous area. Am delighted with life, and a little bit sunburnt.
6:46 pm - Finish unloading luggage into bedroom. Set noble goal to unpack everything tonight.
6:57 pm - Find that I have unpacked nothing, but have managed to check my email. Luggage remains untouched.
7:05 pm - Publish blog post about the virtues of wedding celebrations
7:06 pm - Crave soda pop
7:07 pm - Acquire soda pop; snuggle into bed and open blog reader
7:28 pm - Update myself on favourite blogs! Am a blog-glutton and happy.
7:29 pm - Notice that a sizable number of the blogs I follow all revolve around peoples outfits. Yes, that's right, most of the blogs I feel the need to obsess over are about what people wear.
7:30 pm - Feel hideously shallow, yet crave thinner hips so as to look like very fashionable blogging heros.
7:32 pm - Eat pasta. Counter-productive to fashionably thinner hips goal.
7:33 pm - Conclude that I don't care. Pasta is delicious.
7:35 pm - Resolve to begin following more blogs that have less to do with aesthetics and more to do with healthy betterment of self!
7:36 pm - Am smugly impressed with awesomeness of new blog-reading goal. I am so great.
7:37 pm - Begin internet search for a personalized fitness blog. Desire to read about a real human, preferably an un-athletic one like myself, exploring fitness and fitness communities.
7:40 pm - Have found only hyper-commercial fitness "blogs" from companies peddling perverse looking at-home exercise equipment and diet supplements. Am not impressed.
7:42 pm - Continue to find only mass-marketing schemes masquerading as human bloggers. Am despondent.
7:44 pm - Find "Working On My Fitness" by a nice gal named Susan! Seems quite human and does not appear to be an extension of an evil multinational corporation hell-bent on selling me protein powder. References Fergie and BEP in blog title. Amused and impressed.
7:45 pm - Susan is very cool, but I cannot find a post on physical health yet. Susan is too well rounded.
7:46 pm - I have found it! Susan's post "A Love/Hate Relationship With Running" is exactly what I'm looking for. She has tips! She experienced success! Best of all, she's a normal human being like me and if Susan can learn to run... maybe ~I~ can learn to run. And get a sexy bum.
8:17 pm - Have completed blog post about desire to learn to run. Must take the "Couch to 5K" challenge as described by blogger Susan.
8:18 pm - Leave to make more pasta. Do not run.... yet. Have charged ipod and found my ankle socks; things are looking good for tomorrow.


So I may or may not take the "Couch to 5K" challenge. I'll sleep on it and get back to you... although it seems like that would be a much nobler thing to do with a blog than essentially saying all the dirty words I don't feel like I can say in real life. (Such as "I like attending weddings," or "I'm attracted to stereotypically hot men.")

I'll probably do both. :)

Paisley out!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Paisley the Road-Cranky Highway Gypsy

I have been on the road for 6+ hours, and am looking forward to spending the first 2.5 hours of my work day also on the road. Then at the end of the day I will spend another 2.5 hours on the road. SUPERFANTASTICAWESOME, right?

If in my last post, about how de-freakin-lightful life is, I waxed poetic about the glories of highway driving in the summer sunshine with some good music... rest assured that the novelty has finally (after 1000s of kilometers) worn off. I want nothing more than to stay in the same place for an entire week.

Lies... I want a tighter bum, a fat bank account and maybe a pony much more than that.

But it would be nice.

(Imagine... eating dinner on a plate! Taking naps! Reading books! Walking places- you know, with my legs! Apparently they were engineered to do more than operate the gas and break pedals... so I'm told.)

Paisley out.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

In response to 'Life After College'





I decided I needed to start my own blog after reading a bit of Jenny Blake's blog "Life After College." The industrious blogger and Google-employee now has a book deal, and was seeking reader responses via twitter on a few topics that hit close to home. (Considering I'm a few years out of college, that's not suprising.) So this is me, sort of pillaging her work but definitely giving her credit and even a big THANK YOU, since going through her topics helped to get my own brain juices rolling and figure out a few things about myself.

(I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm violating some sort of golden rule of blog ettiquette right now, despite the best of intentions, but let's roll with it and I'll make changes if necessary in the future.)



(the guinea pigs aren't really a metaphor for life, they're just cute.)


LifeFinish this sentence: When I graduated from college I wish I had known…

... that much of life in college is quite “spoon-fed” as compared to the “real world.” In college I was [comparatively] poor, overworked, perpetually exhausted, frequently drunk, dependant on coffee and suffering from malnutrition after 4 years of vending machine dinners and Sodexo breakfasts… but I was also being provided a wealth of intellectual stimulus, the chance to create and produce, and was inundated by opportunities to socialize with peers. The “real world” was different. People weren’t nearly as eager to make new friends (what?!!?). Lives were already established, routines were set and making a place for myself in a new city that didn’t really care whether I was there or not was far more difficult than expected. I always appreciated the generally open-minded attitudes of fellow students, but it wasn’t until after graduation that I realized what a unique community I’d been a part of. Grieving followed; I spent a lot of gas on pointless drives around the city and a lot of money on shirts I didn’t need from Urban Outfitters.

MoneyWhat’s your philosophy when it comes to saving and/or spending money? Best tip?

I’m one of the last people that can help you. However despite my irrational need for tank tops in EVERY color of the rainbow, I do pretty well by focusing on big goals and keeping them in mind when making smaller purchases. For example, I want a house/duplex/condo, and a sectional couch, and a plane ticket to Chile. This non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks looks pretty good, but is it hurting my good friend House-With-Sectional-Couch? I couldn’t hurt them, I love them too much. Saving for retirement is farther away for me and harder to prioritize… but good luck to all of you!

WorkWhat is the best career advice anyone ever gave you?

“Find something you’re passionate about, and you’ll always be okay,” my late Grandfather said to me on one of our last visits before he passed away. It seems pretty simple and easy to overlook, but it was his parting message to me and I took it seriously. It made me think about his own life, some of the unexpected messiness and bumps along the way, but also his persistent love of and energy for the work he did. I think it got him through his hard times, and some of his losses. My career is of a very different nature than his, but the excitement around it is the same thus far. I owe you, G-Pa.

HomeHow can someone make the most of their living space? Any tips for living with roommates?

Be creative about making open space in small apartments. I’m a big fan of the Apartment Therapy blog for ideas. Respect the subtle impact a pleasant living space has on your general psyche. A dreary, cramped apartment never ruined my day, but it sure as hell brought me down in the long run. The next year I lived in a cute little house with natural light, a bed that I could sprawl in and a delightful lack of noise pollution from my next-door neighbors. I’ll take children laughing over couples arguing any day. Whatever “pleasant” means to you, make it happen. Even if you’ll only be there for a few months- nest just a little bit. Buy a candle, get a plant and wash the grime off the walls of your criminally cheap (but aesthetically lacking) downtown apartment. Mommy isn’t going to do your interior decorating anymore, and we’re getting a bit old for dorm room chic. (Unless you really prefer cavernous rooms dotted with dusty thrift store couches and curling posters of bands you actually don’t listen to very often. Sober up; it was the beer and the newfound freedom we liked, not the décor.)

OrganizationWhat’s one technique you use to stay organized and/or manage your time effectively?

Use the day planner (even when you don’t feel like it or are sure you’ll remember) and do some banking once a week. It will make you feel dowdy, but the alternative is feeling like your getting an ulcer every time you overdraft your account and forget that doctor’s appointment you scheduled 8 months ago. (If that’s a habit of yours, no worries, I speak from experience.)

Friends & FamilyHow do you keep in touch and make time for friends and family after college? Strategies for meeting new people?

We have facebook now, this shouldn’t be too hard, but going out of your way to catch up with people in person is important too. If you’re like me, graduation corresponded with the explosion of your friends across the globe. Someday you won’t have 14 friends living in Europe that can lend you a couch and you might as well visit them while you’re young and energetic. Be open to new friendships, but make opportunities to meet new people as well. Chances are that that office job wont fulfill all of your social needs, so join a dance class, read your Sunday paper in a coffee shop and essentially start doing for yourself what you never realized your students union was doing for you all along.

Dating & RelationshipsWhat’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from past (or present) relationships?

You’ll probably make the same mistake twice. It’s ok. Get over it. At least some of it must have been a good time!

HealthWhat diet, exercise or health habits have helped you stay healthy after college?

I haven’t. I would however advise others and myself to commit to the gym, find ways to make fitness social, and learn how to do things you never did as a kid. How the hell does a person hang glide? No idea? Go find out. (Be spontaneous. It’s totally sexy.)

Fun & RelaxationHow do you make time for fun & relaxation after college? Any tips for doing both on budget?

If anything, staying busy after college was my challenge. I went from 500 km/hr to a few clicks a day. Make goals outside of your job. You can be a lot more than your occupational title.

Personal GrowthWhat has been your biggest blessing-in-disguise life experience since graduating from college?

Getting my ass kicked by life in general. New jobs are hard, boyfriends are hard, losing friends is hard, letting go of childhood is hard and watching people move away is hard. I had to find ways to adapt more quickly and embrace a much larger geographical area than ever before. ‘Town’ or ‘City’ isn’t going to be my world anymore, ‘North America’ is. (Hopefully with frequent guest appearances from New Zealand, Chile… etc.) I feel more capable of building a life all on my own now. If the world ever requires me to hurl myself into the great unknown again, I have a better idea of what I need to make it work and how I can make that a positive experience right away. It sucked at first- big time. For a long time. Then it was palatable. Then it was fun sometimes. Eventually, it was my other home. I know myself better, and I’m more capable now. Challenge yourself- the hard things are usually the ones worth doing.

Extra Question: What general advice do you have for recent college graduates?

Planning doesn’t really work. Just do the best you can with today. (This in no way lets you off the hook academically though- get your degree.)

Extra Question: Finish this sentence: Life after college is… a much bigger clusterfuck than I was told, and more of a disappointment than I’d ever expected… but a few years later it’s started to fit, and it’s started to be really great. It’s a slow build guys.

The Best. Place. Ever.



... is right here right now. While I'm a pretty happy lady most of the time I do have my drearier moments, so let's enjoy this one right here, yes?

Why is this the best place ever? EVER?!?!

Have you ever noticed that you say that in different moments of your life, in different locations, all the time?

Okay, maybe not all the time, but when you do the settings always change? Different aspects of your life conspire to raise your internal temperature to the point of bliss over small events that normally go unnoticed? (Man, if you're NOT having one of those days today or are regrettably having a very bad day, you'll hate me and my flower-child optimism right now.)

Right now I'm sitting in a borrowed backyard (house-sitting) staring at an infinitesimally small field of baled hay between me and another row of sort-of-country homes. It's July, there's golden sunlight coating everything and that makes even dead dill weeds beautiful. There's not a breathe of wind, flying bugs are minimal and singing bugs in the grass are putting on quite the show. I've got a bowl of chocolate chips and a glass of diet-dr.-pepper with mandarin vodka (I made do with what I had, and I did well.) I worked a long day in a job I that makes me excited about life (on the best of days, but today was one of them), I'm 8 chapters into Eat-Pray-Love (good for me, keeping mainstream), A train is whistling, there's a very sassy Chihuahua under my care that just returned from her jaunt down a quasi country road with some dead animal in her mouth and man is it gross, but it's so cute how proud she is...

So okay, there could be more epic days. This is pretty normal. Good work, lots of sunshine, I can smell the earth and hear the birds. It's July. I feel like I'm getting 20x more oxygen than I do in the winter. I've got a rambunctious and snotty little dog to keep me company and a book that doesn't require me to stop and take notes as I go. There have probably been a lot of days like this, and I didn't appreciate them all the way I do July 29th...

... but since I'm feeling grateful, thanks world. The nature rocks. The people rock. The weather, sunlight, O2, miniature Chihuahua's, diet Dr. Pepper and mandarin vodka rock. I'm really digging this quasi-country thing. What on earth was I thinking, hauling myself off to the city core for so long?

(Well, I know exactly what I was thinking and I was totally right, but that was then and this is now and now is the bomb.)

I'll stop rambling. Thanks for listening, crazy internet void! :)

- Paisley